What have you done with my daughter?

It seems like the word of advice you always hear about your children is that they're going through a stage.  Don't worry it's just the stage they're in.  After awhile you just start to think that they must always be in a stage because that's all you hear.  I understand what people are trying to say.  I've even said it, but I would really like my children to hit the stage where they are perfect, do what they're told, eat what you make them, and tell you how wonderful you are!  What!!!! That stage doesn't exist?!!  Well, one can always hope I guess.

My tirade comes from an episode I had with my daughter this last Saturday.  We haven't been getting along the greatest lately.  We have a big conflict in personalities.  No, it's not what you're thinking.  We don't have similar personalities.  She takes after my husband who has that leader personality with a quick temper.  My daughter and I only share a strong sense of stubborness.  Now, I understand that she perceives the world differently than I do and she's getting to the age where she wants a certain amount of independence.  Her idea of that is drastically different from mine and what is appropriate for a 5 year old!  Anyway, so as I said we've been knocking heads a lot.  I wanted to take her on Saturday and have a girl's day to do something fun; maybe bust through our block right now.  You see our temperments are different but our love languages are exactly the same.  We love to do things for people and we love gifts.  So, I planned to take her and get her hair cut, Then take her to buy a cute pair of boots that she could wear to school that would keep her feet and legs warm, but were not a clunky pair of snow boots.  Katy was completely on board with girl's day.  She was so excited!

Phase one on Saturday:  Get hair cut!
This went spledidly.  The lady who cut her hair was so nice.  She shampooed her hair, cut and styled it.  Then she got a sucker (probably Katy's favorite part).  Katy was grinning from ear to ear when we left.  Off to a successful day!

Phase two:  Find a pair of boots!
Well, this stage started having problems from the get go.  First store, all out of boots.  Next stop Payless.  We found some boots.  Thought things were looking up.  Katy wasn't in love with the boots. So, I decide to take her down and try Target.  Along the way we passed Footlocker and I got the brilliant idea to stop in there.  Number one problem, way too expensive of shoes for kids!!!  They had some great boots but not at a price I would pay.  Katy did find a pair of boots she fell in love with there.  They were overpriced and had a huge heel on them!  We had apparently come looking for different kinds of boots.  I tried reasoning with her.  She needed a comfortable pair she could run around and play in, they needed to be warm...  All reasoning was rejected.  I was finally able to convince her that we could look at another store.  Target had no boots in her size.  Frustration and aggrevation are really starting to kick in at this point.  In my opinon  there was only one thing to do.  Go back to Payless and get the pair I thought would work.  I remember when she was little and I could just pick out her clothes and shoes.  Does that work now.  Oh no!  She lets me take her back to Payless but we can't agree on a pair of boots.  She wants flashy and not functional.  I want cute but sensible.  Well, we ended up walking out without any boots.  I know she was disappointed, I was too.  The day had not gone as planned.  When she found out we were going to go home without any boots it got ugly quick.  We were crossing the crosswalk to our car and she just started screaming and kicking.  I had to pick her up and drag her kicking and screaming to the car.  I was absolutely horrified!!!  My kids have never thrown tantrums!  All I could think is, "who is this child and what did she do with my daughter?"  The tantrum continued all the way home.  All I could think was get home before I did something I would regret.  Fortunately daddy was home and was able to deal with her.  Let's just say she has been on much better behavior ever since thankfully.

 

I really wish that children came with a manual.  I think every parent should be warned before having children that insanity is 99.9% guaranteed after having children.  The thing I hang onto is that with every stage my children go through there are things I hate, but there are things that I just love and adore.  Just when I get sad about my kids passing a stage I loved, they do something new and wonderful that just leaves me amazed.  As our children get older not only are they learning about themselves and who they are, but we as parents are learning the same thing about ourselves.  I think it's such a great picture of what we do with God.  It amazes me how God in his inifinite wisdom has given us different kinds of relationships to help us learn about our relationship with him.  God is our parent that we are constantly pushing and challenging.  Yes, we even throw temper tantrums sometimes.  Fortunately, God is a much better parent than we will ever be.  He meets us with love and forgiveness and nudges us back on the right path.  That's not to say that we don't have to deal with the consequences of our actions, but God gets us back on the right path.  As I deal with my daughter and this difficult phase of life right now with her, I am going to try and react as God would.  To love her and guide her.  To be a good example of Christ and His love.  Thankfully, she's really cute!