Derek and I went in for our adoption interview yesterday. I'm not sure why it's called an interview. There wasn't much question and answer going on. It was more of you need to fill this out and this and this and this and this and this...... I think you get my point. Needless to say I'm scheduling this whole weekend for filling out paperwork. The things that they think of are insane!!! They definitely cover all their bases that's for sure. I think some of the more interesting and definitely surprising to me were having to have all the vaccination records for our pets turned in and the letter from Katy's teacher that states that she's doing well in school and can handle going through the adoption. Now, don't get me wrong I don't mean to sound like they weren't friendly and informative because our case worker Tammie is incredibly nice. It was just incredibly overwhelming the amount of stuff that got thrown at us in an hour's time. I think even more daunting was the money involved. Adoption agencies are pretty good about listing out all the major fees. It's all the little costs that you find out about as you go along. So many of the forms I'm filling out this weekend have fees attached to them. It probably adds close to another $1,000 onto the total. It was actually kind of funny watching Derek's face during the interview. His eyes just got bigger and bigger! I was afraid that he was going to have a stroke there for a little bit.
I think the thing that makes it the most overwhelming is knowing that this is just the beginning. These are just the forms necessary for starting the homestudy. I actually have a hard time describing the anxiety and pressure I felt yesterday. I just walked out and in my mind I was talking to God (okay maybe talking isn't the right word) and wondering if we were doing the right thing. I mean this isn't going to be easy. It's impossible to look at the whole process and not freak out. It's really just completely overwhelming. This morning I just spent time listening to my favorite Christian songs and opened my heart to God. I really, really want to adopt a child and I have no idea how that is going to happen. If we had to have all the money and everything done today it just wouldn't happen. However, I know that I serve a loving, powerful God. I think sometimes God gives us a desire to do something impossible just so that He can show up and do something amazing. I have seen Him perform miracles. I have a beautiful, healthy niece that was a medical impossibility. She is my sister's miracle.
So, I am going to jump on board with this. I'm going to take it one form at a time and watch God do amazing things in this process. I think the pastor at our church said it best when he was talking about us blessings others. He said that it's kind of like having a shovel and shoveling out blessings onto others. Whether that's time, money, etc. Fortunately for us, God shovels them right back, He just has a much bigger shovel!
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